Iron Man Horse -vs- Darth Vadar Horse

The theme at this year's California State Fair was Hollywood. And everything, from the pig races to the county dioramas all were stretching mighty hard to accommodate it.  So it came as no surprise that the show horses would be performing to favorite movie musical soundtracks. However, the tribute to Johnny Depp with horses and skinny teenage horsie girls was just plain bizarre. When Iron Man came out riding his Iron Man Horse (I thought Iron Man weighed like a ton and could fly?) I should not have been taken back by the random battle pairing of him against Darth Vadar on the Darth Vadar horsie.  They mostly just charged at each other, no special effects or even fact light sabers. But oh man, it was fun strangeness!

San Rafael's Mt. Olivet Cemetary

For years I have driven up Hwy 101 and seen this graveyard just past the downtown San Rafael exits, and I have always wanted to check it out. Yesterday I did, in the 90 degree heat - and it was pretty darn cool. Earliest birth year represented: 1816; earliest death year: 1870.  Lots of Italian and Irish birth cities and lots of photos of the deceased. Find it in Northgate part of San Rafael - open 8:30 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. daily.  Creepy, but not gross creepy like new graveyards. Almost picnic worthy.

Damn Funniest Guy Ever

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

It was hard picking a video clip to represent Mitch Hedberg, and pardon the crummy-ish sound quality of this one - but the world is a much less funny place since he died. Whenever I need to remember how ludicrous things are, I just watch one of the awesome recordings from his monologues.

Four Minute and Nine Second Vacation

Whoa, I grabbed this video of Kome Kome Club's "Romantic Journey in the Sky (err? Sea?)" with it's eighties synth sound and shiny costumed gods, goddesses and monster guy - with even more eighties aesthetic (though it's from the early '90s) than you could shove into a wanna be DuranDuran cover band - because for the four minutes plus of its silliness, I can almost feel the holiday I have not had yet this year.

Firefly Squid!

Also known at the Sparkling Enope Squid - they only live for about a year, and grow to just around 3 inches long - but this wee blue flashing phenomenon arrives by the thousands each spring to Japan's Toyama Bay - where they have actually built a museum in their honor. Apparently, it is also the only cephalopod with the ability to see in color. All hail watasenia scintillans!

Koncentratin' Kitties

From the San Mateo County Fair - a photorealistic painting (2nd Place Prize!) of three psychic cats preparing to look into the future.  And the future will have tuna-fish in it.

Olde Jamestown Antique-y Shoppin'

Dang it - I should have bought this chattering bobble skulls salt 'n peppa shaker thingie. Occupied Japan porcelain with hand painted roses and gold luster eyeball holes.

Excellent Vegetable P.R.

Quick! Give this budding marketing genius a contract a.s.a.p.! Not only can she promise us good vision, but mini-carrot eyelashes to boot! More amazing kiddie art from the fair, the San Mateo Co. fair this time. 

Baby Bunnies at the Fair

Dang it - even with tiny bunny poops around its feet, this and every other baby animal at the San Mateo County Fair was able to radiate Cute Overload levels of unbearable adorableness.

Svankmajer + Natural History = Perfection

Here's an early Jan Svankmajer stop motion animation (1967) called "Historia Naturae" Man oh man, the music and segue moments of a man chomping away at fork-fulls of meat as if all of nature is just about food - hilarious and mesmorizing.

Kaiju! Because even monsters need to practice!

World Wrestling Federation has long needed to evolve - and frankly I would rather watch foam bodied Japanese monster guys bounce and flip each other any day than sweaty, mullet-haired guys in tight shorts. So a group of art students from Boston have taken it upon themselves to bring this wrestling format - Kaiju Big Battel, complete with Japanese pop music and a dozens of crazy new monsters and heros duking it out. I only hope they bring the act to San Francisco soon. In the meantime - check out this bit of amazing showmanship from a YouTube posting:

My Generous Neighbors

It took almost four days before someone decided that this 500 lb, half-working, chest and upper back muscle developin' machine should go live with them.

Sidewalk Koi

You can find these in the mural-tastic Clarion Alley - only remember to hold your breath, this cement koi-pond definitely doubles as a urinal for the lame-ass.

If It Says So Then It Must Be True

Exceptional Veggie Sculptures

This veggie chupacabra is mighty stunning. Just one of dozens of spectacular feats of produce-based creative splendor. Thank you Marin County Fair for bringing us a glimpse into this lesser known art form.Mr. Fennelhead here is sporting a scary bloody massacre mouth, who knew something with a bellpepper body could deliver the goosebumps? The teeter-totter chayote with googlie kumquat eyes and his ginger root dog friend are caught mid-action in this charming pastoral scene.The cucumber-chayote head daschund was fabulously showcased on his tinfoil runway - but the big prize went to the breath-taking squid made from mystery veggies. Seriously, I had to beat through a crowd to get this shot.

Mapping the BULLITT chase scene

 

WHOA! Watch Steve McQueen race his muscle-y Ford Mustang through 1968 San Francisco! And, as usual the route is impossible to follow - until now! Well, impossible to actually drive, but wonderfully juxtaposed with a moving Google map.

Death rides a motorcycle through the ivy

One of the many wonderful Patrick Amiot recycled junk sculptures that adorn the yards along Florence Ave. in Sebastopol. Vroom vroom.

Get Your Refreshments from Giant Food!

The power of an enormous soft serve cone compels me. Must - have - half- chocolate - half - vanilla - swirlie! And dip it in chocolate shell - before I change my mind and wander over to the giant french fry stand....

What is a hot summer night without lemonade from a giant lemon - and extra bonus ingredient - cherries!

What flavor - blue or red?

Come Out Tap Dancin' Kitties!

"Meow!Meow! the kitty cat is cooing - he's shows a lot of common sense - he knows there's always something doin', sittin' on a backyard fence!"  Wow, I just watched James Cagney hoof and ham it up in "Footlight Parade." (1933) Glorious Busby Berkeley naiads in the "Fountain of Beauty," a ditty about honeymooners with lots of wink wink nudge nudge and the craziest scene of shady hipster drunks singing at a bar in the "Shanghai Lil" sequence. Check out the "mouse" in this number - it's pre-teenage Billy Barty rolling his eyes around. Ooh, and those kitty jazz hands! Every outfit, every haircut, every detail (well, except for the racism and jingoism) makes 1933 look like paradise in America. You could almost forget The Dust Bowl and bread lines watching this. 

At the Fair: Future Artists of America - 1

From the mind of an 8 year old genius

2

Wow

3

Dali would be proud too

Eat your music - at the fair!

I was blown away by all the extreme wonderfulness at the Alameda County Fair. Including: a girl with glow-in-the-dark French manicure (no photo, she wasn't the friendly kind of teenager...), dee-licious barbecue and roasted corn on the cob, incredible baby chicks and duckies - I could've bought a peacock for $75 if I had a place to put him, piglet races - the list is never ending. I will post more images from the day - but image this as you admire the craftsmanship of this cake - we ate homemade chocolate cake with cherry filling for $1.75 a slice, downed with milk for $1.00. Smack, seconds?

Awesome Alameda County Fair

document - document

3-D Dore' Wonderfulness

Paul Gustave Dore' (1832-'83) is one of my favorite illustrators. So it goes without saying that this terrific giant bronze urn covered in cherubium, grapes and vines, enormous insects and satyrs all scrambling around in Bacchanalian joy is one of my favorite things in Golden Gate Park. If moths were this big, I'd probably want to hug them too.

Roarin' Orchids

GRRROOOAAARRRRR!!!!!

RRRrrrrrOOOWWlllrrrrrrrrrrrooorrr!!!

wwwaaaarrrrrllrrrrOOOOWL!

I love them orchids - those charismatic charmers. And, like mushrooms, they feel more animal than vegetable. Vanilla comes from orchids - and there are four times more orchid species than mammals. One branch of metaphysical belief has it that they are actually aliens living amongst us. I took these photos at the SF Conservatory of Flowers - more fantasizing about the tropics on a grey, foggy wind blasting June day in San Francisco.

Demi-God Harryhausen

When I was a kid - ANYTHING with stop-motion effects by Ray Harryhausen was worth staying up super late to watch.

That'll do!

Cinders the pig has a fear of mud - but wee wellies took care of that!
This story is all over the blog-o-sphere, but the cuteness is too powerful to resist not adding it here. Apparently, when Cinders -short for Cinderella - was just a newborn, her farmers discovered her fear of mud (mysophobia - she stood shaking nervously at the side of the muck while her siblings frolicked in it ) and fitted her with the tiny plastic boots they were using as pencil holders - which originally came off of 2 stuffed Paddington Bear dolls. Does the cuteness ever stop? She now trots where ever she can on an English farm animal preserve in North Yorkshire. She's been spared from the meat grinder because of her quirk. No more bacon for me.

Keeping the Eyes on the Prize

In the midst of scrapping through survival, remember what it is you are seeking. Then realize what you thought you were seeking.

County Fair Season Begins

No time to waste - get your fried food and scary ride on now!

Alameda County Fair - June 20-July6;  Marin County Fair - July 2-6; Sonoma County Fair - July 22-August 4; Sonoma/Marin Fair - June 18-22;  San Mateo County Fair - August 8-17; Napa County Fair - July 3-6;  and the motherlode: California State Fair in Sacramento: August 15- Sept. 1

Hypnotic Waltzing Waters

Imagine THIS in your inflatable pool!
Seriously, you can hire Dancing Waters to come out and temporarily install this in your swimming pool - probably even with the horrifying music if you chose - for a fabulously unforgettable event you could host. But the empty, boarded up pool in our backyard would likely spew dead bugs and leaves into the air during "showtime."  I suspect this watery laserium is priced for the P.Diddy party level - but I found this super low-budget version - the Underwater Light Show  on sale for $14.99, and it only needs 3 AA batteries. Pair it with the floating sprinkler thingie, then turn your radio to the classic rock station - and Bam! your neighborhood stoners will be begging to hang in your backyard.

Es ist ein Volkswagen: Es ist ein Traum

Oh my dreamy, dreamy VW! Oh my Volkswagen obsession!

Giddy Up

Golden mane, turquoise eyes with intense black brows. Go 24th Street coin pony, go!

Multitasking While Just Hanging Out

This weekend I visited the Conservatory of Flowers in Golden Gate Park with my mother - to see the temporary Butterfly Zone breeding room. Nothing like dozens of giant, beautiful butterflies fluttering and floating around your head, it makes everyone (and it was crowded) quieter and reverent. One room in the beautiful Conservatory is loaded with carnivorous Nepenthes pitcher plants.  Who doesn't love carnivorous plants? These are much bigger in real life than you might think from looking at photos. Growing from vines in groups, some have spikey wings, hairy fringe and some elaborate lids or polka-dots and stripes on their bellies. All of them radiate a vibe of focus and vitality that other plants do much much more quietly. Like stealthy beasts they wait with a goal that they will achieve, but by just hanging there smelling delicious to bugs.  Because they have built "it" and food will come. Apparently, in young pitchers who haven't opened yet, the fluid inside is sterile and can be used as a painkiller, for indigestion and dysentery, as an eyewash and an asthma reliever.  I would love to have them in my place to see an end to the lame flies that gather in our basement apartment during the summer.

Bigfoot, Loch Ness Monster - and this?

Man - don't we all just love those blurry photos of mysterious beasts caught zipping by on film? No one really wants to hear it's a hoax because it's so much better to hold onto that belief that there's still magical wildlife living under the radar. "Don't put no species/phylum label on me!" is what they must be thinking as they dive back into the shrubbery when that camera clicks. My sister just found this gem - we have no idea where it was taken, but it looks to be some English or European suburban backyard. What the hell is that thing? Why is it so damn skinny? We have come up with some theories: a giant salamander taking a stroll; a skinny cat doing that "I'm up tall now and can pounce you mouse" stance; a nappy lil E.T. thing scrounging for human artifacts; that neighbor kid that lives in a closet - ack - he broke free from his cage again!; a frail muppet who escaped from Fraggle Rock and now lives on stuff he grabs from garbage cans. I can hear Leonard Nimoy's voice from In Search Of... asking us: "What do you think it is?"

Ultraman and Kimba - Epic Kiddie Ballads

When I was about five years old I was obsessed with Japanese cartoons and monster action shows. The most important thing about them was that they had excellent opening credits and theme songs - especially Kimba and Ultraman. They aired on Hawaiian television starting at 6 a.m. in the late 1960's, and I was inspired to stand on my tiny wooden stool and sing along fervently. The themes are about heroes who stand for fairness, justice and fighting evil. Kimba got to run like hell and do amazing flying leaps. Ultraman's groovy go-go song also had this rad swirling psychedelic paint opening (it changed color with different episodes). Catchy, simplistic lyrics that are still stuck in my head.

The Loveliness of Aqua Forest Aquariums

There is a branch of aquarium design that has come to us from Japan. Developed by the master aquarist Takashi Amano, the style is carried out a bit like bonsai. Pastoral landscapes, comprised mainly of  South American fresh water plants and fish are composed in large, seamless glass tanks, like landscape paintings. Schools of fish are placed in these underwater locations and move about like herds of deer or flocks of birds - closer to the way they do in the Amazon river, rather than the one or two of this and that tossed into a tank together like an episode of Big Brother. Lucky lucky San Francisco - Amano opened his first U.S. Aqua Forest concept store here. Even if you can't have one of these tanks made for your own home - visiting the store is like a surreal mashing of viewing old masters landscape paintings being morphed into living, watery versions. They are calming and noble, even the fish look really pleased.  And for us broke-ass art school graduates, not having to spend a dime to experience these fabulous objects is a tiny trip to paradise. Find them at 1718 Fillmore St.

Watching Grass Grow

I can never get enough of time lapse-d nature.

Take Care of Thyself

   Blobfish (Psychrolutes marcidus) - lives a gloopy existence so you don't have to

Getting to the gym, eating right and going to bed at a civilized hour. Yup, need to get those habits into place, like a hamster or a doggie a happy person is one with structure. Any kindergartner will tell you, graham crackers and milk then naptime, then you can play on the monkeybars - sheesh -silly!

The blobfish is real, it lives in deep sea waters around Australia and Tasmania. Because of the extreme pressure - and for floatability - it's body is gelatinous and less dense than water. Pretty much lacking in muscles, it floats just about the ocean floor and gulps whatever drifts by that might be digestible. Thank you blobfish for living that life for me, I appreciate it. More on blobfish here.

Glow in the dark fishing thingie

WHOA. Scary what you might attract from the deep, dark sea at night with one of these babies.

Mushy for Mushrooms

The Blood Tooth Mushroom - what murderous elves live under

Note to self: begin rejoicing in all those freaky things you have always loved. They will lead you to the path that you are supposed to be having fun on.
What is it about mushrooms? They come in a bazillion varieties and they feel more like animal than plant. Maybe that's why they often taste like meat instead of vegetable. When I was in Costa Rica a few years ago I found a cluster of glow-in-the-dark mushrooms. Two of my favorite things in one. What many believe to be the largest living thing on our planet is currently growing mostly underground in eastern Oregon. The Armillaria ostoyae, a.k.a. the honey mushroom, is believed to be 2,200 acres across in size, or 3.5 miles long, all planted inside Malheur National Forest. What people have seen all the years prior to it's whole body discovery were the clumps of small, above-ground mushrooms, all thought to be independent, individual fungus colonies. Not only is it huge, it’s also old. Some mycologists say this vast fungus is at least 2,400 years, others think possibly even 7,200 years old.
It's currently accepted amongst genetic researchers that fungi are more closely related to humans and animals than to plants.

Another toothed mushroom: the great bearded tooth mushroom

The Post-MFA Dilemma

It has now been two weeks since I graduated. I promised myself to not apply for or take any job that I have done previously, especially the kinds of jobs with great misery attached to those experiences. Now I find that I have very little enthusiasm for anything but making - making drawings, making sculpture, making cake, making the house clean - but not joy in making new resume cover letters for jobs that could lead me back to that place of no art community and very little making - if any at all.  Scary.  But being seriously broke is also very scary.